Schedule

Okay. I am really going to do this this time. I am going to write a schedule of things I can eat each day, like a food plan. It sounds a little restricting, but the other time I did this, it actually worked pretty well. I'm going to record it in my blog, so here goes: the schedule for this week, starting today.

Tuesday, March 16:
Breakfast:
-3 egg whites on a multi-grain sandwich thin, 2 slices of provolone cheese
-1 grapefruit
-1 small apple

Lunch:
-Salad. Oil & vinegar for dressing, some nuts, some asiago cheese, maybe add some tuna, wrap in a tortilla.
Snack with lunch:
-small apple with peanut butter.

Dinner:
-a wrap or salad from Fresh Portions.

Dessert:
-small ice cream bar.


Wednesday, March 17:
Gym: Before breakfast.

Breakfast:
-oatmeal with apple, nuts, a little maple syrup.
-grapefruit.

Lunch:
-Salad.
Snack with lunch:
-Carrots and hummus.

Snack before work:
-tall non-fat vanilla latte from Starbucks.

Dinner:
-Stir-fried veggies with rice.


Thursday, March 18:
Breakfast:
-Fiber 1 granola bar.
-Fruit smoothie.
-non-fat vanilla latte.

Lunch:
-Salad I bring to work.
Snack:
-100-calorie pack rice cakes.
-Carrots with hummus.

-100-calorie pack almonds.

Dinner:
-TBA

Another week went by...

So another week of not eating right went by. I did so good last Monday, and then the rest of the week was a fail. I don't really know what happened. I guess I just felt like I had no motivation. But yesterday was a beautiful day - sunny and almost warm (compared to the chilly winter we've been having here in New York), and it made me think of spring and summer. Suddenly, I got scared. It's the beginning of March, and the winter went by extremely fast. This only makes me realize that in 2 months time, I will be laying in the sand at the beach with all of my friends and other people I do not know practically naked in a bikini. Needless to say, it scared the shit out of me. At the moment, I don't even go out in short-sleeved shirts because of how much I hate my body. I've been hiding in black leggings and long sleeved shirts all winter long, but I can't do that in the summer. And there's no way I am spending the summer worrying about how I look. Let's get that over with now.

So today, I am really ready to start eating healthy and working out. Tomorrow I even have the time to go to my favorite classes at the gym without waking up early, so I need to take advantage of that. And I'm trying to cut down the eating at the internship. I bought all my own food today! I'm very proud of myself. Yesterday, me and my mom bought some containers for food that have freezer gel in them so they keep the food cold all day. We found a perfect one for salads, so now I get the double bonus of making my own healthy salad and saving a little money instead of buying one.

Today I brought in baby carrots with hummus for dipping, a salad with some walnuts, Asiago cheese and balsamic vinagerette, a Fiber-1 granola bar, and a 100-calorie bag of mini caramel dipped rice cakes for when I have a sweet tooth craving. I had the granola bar for breakfast... when I got here, they had actually ordered breakfast for the office, so there were dishes of all kinds of yummy breakfast indulgences. Even though I desperately wanted the hash browns, I stayed away, instead just filling a small plate with fruit and melon. I had the granola bar and a non-fat vanilla latte a little bit later. I'm going to have my salad for lunch in a few minutes and then I'll probably munch on the carrots and save the rice cakes for around 4 or 5 in the afternoon when I start to get hungry again.

I feel pretty good about bringing in my own food. I think I'm going to start just bringing in enough money for my train ticket and my morning coffee, that way I'm not tempted to buy something. The only problem with that though is that I then worry about being in the city with no money. Maybe I'll carry a few extra dollars on me, but I think it would be a good idea to try to just bring in exactly what I need.

I hope I can do good today! I really do. I want to be proud of my body when it comes time to put a bathing suit on... I don't want to feel fatter than everyone else. I'm going to try so hard, and I will think of the summertime every step of the way. 

Hello again

It's been a while! I have to admit that I got very side-tracked from my diet, and, well... basically went off it altogether. =( I'm disappointed in myself, because this is my biggest problem: I do so good for a few weeks, start to make progress, and then go right back into the same old stuff. I hate it! I want to stop doing that! 

But for right now, I'm back on the diet/exercise thing. I could sit here and make excuses for why I got back into my old habits - I've been super busy, I've been working kind of weird hours, I've been stressed out. But I won't focus on those, because they only make it seem like it's okay. And it's not. I should be eating healthy no matter how busy, stressed, or tired I am. 

So today, I am finally doing good. After a few weeks of eating horribly bad foods for me at all moments of the day (hi 4 boxes of Valentines day chocolates, many late-night drunk munchies, period cravings and depressed eating), I have pretty much made myself feel like shit. This is nothing new. If I go a few weeks eating that badly, with pretty much no nutritional value in anything, I feel sick all the time. My stomach has been hurting like crazy, I've been tired and low on energy, and I've been breaking out. Today, I am trying to reverse this process. 

In an attempt to eat better, I have tried to look at all aspects of my life when I really do not eat good so I can change that. So, here is where my bad habits come from: 

1. Internship
The Problem: The sad thing is is that I thought I did pretty okay here. But now that I'm looking at it, not really. I don't eat that much, but since I'm here for so long, I normally end up grabbing unhealthy snacks. The morning lattes should be my one indulgence of the day, since I am so unwilling to give up Starbucks. I ruin my relatively okay eating (salads or a healthy sandwich for lunch) with a bag of chips added in. And then later on in the day, when the late afternoon hunger/boredom cravings kick in, I grab more unhealthy snacks from the vending machine. So those unhealthy snacks need to stop. 
What I Can Do: Bring my own snacks and my own lunch in. Not only will this save me calories, but it will also save me money. I can bring in healthier snacks, like a banana, apple, orange (fruit that's easy to carry around all day), almonds, rice cakes, carrot sticks... anything healthy to munch on instead of chips. 

2. Late Nights
The Problem: This happens especially when I work at Outback. Since I work through dinner hours, I come home hungry and tired and willing to eat anything that's quick and easy. Sometimes that means skipping dinner and just eating junk food. And it sucks. 
What I Can Do: Try to skip the meal. This is what I would like to do, because eating late at night is just bad. But if I'm really, really hungry, I'll have to suck it up and make something healthy. I can stock up on those frozen veggies that you just microwave, which is quick and painless and takes the same amount of time as making popcorn does. 

3. When Alcohol Is Involved 
The Problem: The drunk munchies. A problem for every girl trying to diet who also loves to party. Not to mention the alcohol itself. I normally drink beer, because I am constantly broke and it's the cheapest thing to buy. And when I get drunk, I just really want to eat. And I never want to eat carrots or cheese sticks or something like that... just to give you an idea, my favorite drunk food is nacho cheese Dorritos on a buttered roll from 7-11. A truly amazing combination that I would never want to eat sober, and I do not want to know the calorie count. Another favorite? Stouffer's frozen mac n cheese. These are the things I have when drunk. 
What I Can Do: Don't eat after going out. It's hard to resist when alcohol has taken over, but I just have to remember. And I should also stop drinking so much. If I do, I should just splurge and buy a glass of wine or a vodka/cranberry instead of beer. 

4. When I'm Bored
The Problem: I don't have anything else to do, so I eat. I rummage through my kitchen counters, refrigerator, freezer, anything there, searching for something interesting to eat. Like that is going to keep me entertained. 
What I Can Do: Find something else to do when bored! Do anything that will occupy my hands. 

5. When Watching TV 
The Problem: Eating while watching TV has become such a habit for me that it is to the point where I can't watch without eating. And this is by far the worst trap for me, because I watch a lot of TV and movies. I always reach for the worst things... nachos, popcorn with butter, ice cream, chips of any kind, cookies, chocolate... you name it, I will eat it. I just need to have something to eat or watching TV just isn't as enjoyable to me. I know that's in my head and I know I made myself feel like that, but I still can't stop. 
What I Can Do: Slowly make myself get used to watching TV without eating. And if I have to eat, I'll eat something healthy. 

6. When I'm Depressed 
The Problem: I'm miserable, I want something to make me feel better, food is there. And the worst thing is is that in the end, eating only makes me feel worse. 
What I Can Do: I don't know about this one. 

So there you have it. I'm doing better today. In attempt to solve the first problem, I brought my own snacks to the internship today. I bought 3 plain rice cakes, an orange, and a bag of 100 calorie almonds. I also brought a bottle of water. So far today, it's almost 5... I had a latte for breakfast, along with a Starbucks mango-macadamia nut granola bar, which was delicious. I didn't eat lunch until after 2, and I got a salad from Bread Cafe - mixed greens with olives, chickpeas, broccoli, and cheddar cheese with a light oil and vinegar dressing. Besides the cheese, pretty good! I had the 3 rice cakes I bought with my lunch. I'm pretty hungry right now, so I think I'll be eating the orange in a few minutes. I brought the almonds too because I'm pretty sure I'll be staying here late, so I can munch on those in a few hours. 

I hope I can keep up with this this time! I would love to wake up and go to the gym tomorrow. When Fashion Week was going on, I literally had no time to get to the gym, so I haven't been in a while. But hopefully I can force myself out of bed for a little step and total body tomorrow morning! 

I'll update with what happens. I like writing about this stuff in here. It makes me feel a teensy bit better about everything.