I know I do this all the time - start a diet, write about it full of excitement, and then end it in a day. But this time I really desperately want it to be different. No - I actually NEED it to be different. I think it will be good for me to blog about it. I haven't had any dieting success in months. Things keep coming up and I keep procrastinating. But now, not only is summer around the corner, but I'm also completely miserable about how I look. It's getting warmer every day, and I find myself sticking to jeans, leggings, and long sleeved shirts to cover up my body. That can't go on much longer, and I don't want to feel horrible about myself every time I go out. I'm the only one who can change this and I NEED to do this for myself!

So I'm really starting today. I don't have much time before I'll be at the beach in a bathing suit - and I really don't want to feel extremely fat on the beach.

This morning, I woke up excited to start eating better. I didn't really get a chance to have breakfast, as I was running out the door to make the train. When I got to Us Weekly, I got my usual triple grande nonfat vanilla latte from Starbucks - I think I'm going to cut that down to just a plain latte, which will cut down on some sugar. I also grabbed a yogurt and fruit parfait with granola, about 300 calories. I didn't finish it, but it was better than no breakfast at all.

I had a pretty good lunch. I went to Pret a Mange and got a soup and half a sandwich. I like Pret because you can get half sandwiches there, and it has all the calories, and everything is usually pretty healthy. I got a miso soup, which is extremely healthy and only 50 calories - and it's basically all soybeans, so it's realtively filling. I also got half a falafel sandwich - it was on wheat bread, with tomatos, spinach, some kind of dressing and onions. I wasn't sure how it would be, but it was delicious and I believe it was only a little over 200 calories. So my lunch was filling and healthy, with really no sugar at all. I'm trying to get myself out of my current lunch habit, which is to eat something pretty healthy but ruin it with cheese and with a snack. I usually eat salads, but I can't help but put some cheese in there. And then I usually grab a bag of chips to go along with the meal. It's a waste.

Honestly, I'm still a little hungry after that lunch. It was really good, but there wasn't much to it. However, I know that I need to eat less, and that eating less will mean being hungry more. Especially at first. I need to just push through it. I'm at Us, trying to distract myself from the hunger. For later, I have a healthy cranberry-almond granola to munch on. I'm thinking that right before I get on the train, I'll buy a fruit salad to hold me over until dinner.

The other thing I have to work on is pigging out when I get home. I'll walk in the door starving for dinner, and instead of waiting for it to be ready, I'll start eating anything I can get my hands on: spare Oreos, handfuls of walnuts, cheese, pieces of cake. It's so dumb. So I need to just stop doing that.

Hopefully I won't get home too late, and then I would love to do some Wii Fit tonight after dinner. Even if it's just yoga or pilates, it will make me feel better. And I definitely plan on eating the gym in the am, whether it's getting up early enough to make the morning classes or spending some time on the elliptical and doing my own weights.

I really hope I can do this. I'll have to think of some inspirational things I can look at or think about each time I have a really bad craving for something bad. I'll keep you updated.